


The Magnet Discords

by friedtoffee



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Discord - Freeform, Everyone Is Alive, Ghost Hunt UK, Jon is clueless, The Mechanisms Were The Archivist's College Band, What the Ghost, chatfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:21:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24896101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friedtoffee/pseuds/friedtoffee
Summary: bossman: can’t busystonks: doing whatbossman: with friendsarchive mom: you know people outside of the institute???***this is my chatfic. i make the rules. everyone is alive and canon? we dont know her***
Relationships: Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Martin Blackwood & Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 31
Kudos: 358





	1. my dearest discord server

**what the ghost hunt uk server**

**Ghost Gals- 2**

the admirals mom (georgie)

the admirals other mom (melanie)

**the ex- 1**

the admiral simp (jon)

**#general**

the admiral simp: georgie is threatening to take away my the admiral privileges help

the admirals mom: shhhhhhh

ghost?: what did you do???

ghost cat: ^^^

admiral for president: ^^^^

the admirals mom: he got tea for himself and not me

ghost cat: wow rude

the admiral simp: it was from work! i’m not going to steal tea from work for you 

the admirals mom: ……….

  
  


**#polls**

the admirals other mom: jon wants to be in next episode. should we let it happen?

yes- 87 no- 23

  
  


**#episode-news**

the admirals other mom: i guess the simp himself will make an appearance next episode

the admirals other mom: it will be a special q&a ep so drop your questions in  **#questions**

  
  


**jimmy magnet archives server**

**online- 3**

stonks (tim)

archive mom (sasha)

tea master (martin)

**#welcome**

the admirals simp joined the server

**#general**

the admirals simp: oops need to change my name

(the admirals simp changed name to jsims)

jsims: better

stonks: no not better

(stonks changed jsims to bossman)

stonks: but can we have background into ur first name

bossman: no

stonks: anyway drinks friday?

tea master: sounds good

archive mom: i’m down

bossman: can’t busy

stonks: doing what

bossman: with friends

archive mom: you know people outside of the institute??? 

bossman: yes why is that so hard to believe

stonks: you never leave for all i know you might live there

tea master: that’s true

bossman: i have friends and a social life

archive mom: i’ll believe it when i see it

stonks: saturday then?

bossman: sure

archive mom: yes

tea master: agreed

  
  


**direct message to the admirals mom**

the admirals simp: my dearest georgie! i have fucked up

the admirals mom: what have you done now

the admirals simp: i agreed to drinks with my staff

the admirals mom: so

the admirals simp: it’s on saturday, the day after i record with you

the admirals mom: big oof for you

the admirals simp: to make it worse they think i don’t have any friends outside of work and they think i’m lying about being busy friday

the admirals mom: have you never talked about me? rude

the admirals simp: how would i? hello i’m jonathan sims, the head archivist at a paranormal institute and her is my best friend/ex girlfriend georgie barker, a ghost podcaster. no that sounds stupid

the admirals mom: whatever you say


	2. hating elias on main

**jimmy magnet archives server**

**online- 4**

stonks

oh worm? pls no

archive mom

being productive

tea master

making tea

bossman

fixing gertrudes mess

**#general**

stonks: why did big boy boss man just ask me where we are going for drinks tomorrow? did one of you snitch 

tea master: I would never

archive mom: not me. jon?

bossman: even though he is our boss, no. i hate him as much as you guys do

stonks: how did he find out then

bossman: he probably stalks us with creepy mind powers

stonks: 👁👄👁

tea master: that is unnerving. i look away. i do not see

archive mom: i mean probably. he probably has secret cameras installed everywhere 

bossman: like i said stalking

stonks: i have created a new channel head over to **#elias-hate-club** for all your elias hate needs

stonks: we all still good for drimks tomorrow?

archive mom: ooo i love some good drimks 

bossman: drimks

stonks: drinks*

tea master: drimks

archive mom: drimks

(archive mom changed stonks to drimks master)

drimks master: sasha really

archive mom: tim did you change your name?

tea master: are you copying me?

(drimks master changed name to party man)

party man: i like this 

bossman: boo

tea master: boo

archive mom: boo

**#elias-hate-club**

archive mom: just saw elias yell at dave from the library for his jeans being ‘too short’ whatever that means

tea master: and he has never yelled at tim for his clothing choices? strange

party man: what i wear to work is completely appropriate

bossman: not it is not

archive mom: you barely had half of your shirt buttoned today. and it was a hawaiian shirt. not really academic institute appropriate

tea master: he really just avoids the archives doesnt he

bossman: not like we can be fired anyways

archive mom: ^^^^

tea master: and thats the tea

  
  


**what the ghost hunt uk server**

**ghost gals- 2**

the admirals mom

questioning ghosts

the admirals other mom

hunting ghosts

**the ex- 1**

the admiral simp

looking for the admiral

**#episode-news**

the admirals mom: thanks for all the questions. we are starting to record in a couple minutes

the admiral simp: only here for the admiral :)

**georgie barker’s house**

_audio recording begins_

[georgie] hello everyone! i’m georgie barker

[melanie] and im melanie king

[georgie] and this is what the ghost hunt

[melanie] uk

[georgie] yes uk. this is a special episode because there are no ghosts

[melanie] maybe jon might be a ghost

[jon] im not a ghost

[georgie] thats right folks we are joined tonight by jon. who you might know as the mod from our discord with the role the ex. and this is a q&a episode!

[melanie] we asked you all for questions for us and jon so here we go!

[georgie] the first question is ‘who exactly is jon?’ would you like to explain

[jon] yes, i would. im jon, i know georgie from university and i know melanie from work. the admiral is the best part about knowing georgie. oh and georgie is my ex

[georgie] well there you go! going off the fact we are exes the next question is ‘anyone special in your life?’

[jon] i have my eyes on someone, but no moves have been made yet

[melanie] ok next question ‘what is the name of your animal crossing island?’ mine is knife friendly

[georgie] mine is the admirals kingdom

[jon] and mine is eye-land spelled e y e l a n d

[melanie] ‘how many paranoid conspiracy boards do you have?’

[jon] only 8, 5 at my apartment, 3 at work

[georgie] why am i not surprised? what are they on

[jon] thats for me to know and for you to find out

[georgie] next question is ‘what are your thoughts on elf the musical?’

[jon] terrible. moving on

[melanie] ok here’s a good one, ‘what is your dnd class?’ personally im a ranger

[georgie] im most likely a monk

[jon] and im a warlock that secretly wishes to be a druid

[georgie] that is oddly specific 

[jon] dont ask

[melanie] ok then, new question for you jon, ‘one strange fact about you’ not really a question but i want to know as well

[jon] i dont have all my bones and im going to leave it there

[georgie] oh i think i know this story

[jon] shhhhh we will not discuss the mysterious case of my missing bones

[georgie] fine, here is the final question for jon, ‘do you believe in the supernatural?’

[jon] yes, yes i do and it frightens me

[georgie] good to know, thats all the questions we have for jon so i have been georgie

[melanie] and i have been melanie and this was a special q&a episode of what the ghost hunt uk bye!

_audio recording ends_


	3. dress code? we dont know her

**magnus institute server**

**#announcements**

rosie: please remember the institute does have a dress code. it is on page nine of the handbook. go over it when you have time

**jimmy magnet server**

**#vent**

party man: oh sure

party man: yeah of course

party man: no 

(party man changed name to there is no dress code)

there is no dress code: i refuse to follow anything that tells me how to dress. it’s not like i can be fired. i look good, so i wear what i want

archive mom: tim we haven’t even gone out yet and you are already going off

archive mom: i do agree with you though. the dress code is stupid and incredibly vague. everything is just wear appropriate footwear. make sure your pants are of an appropriate length, don’t wear anything inappropriate. what is it supposed to mean

there is no dress code: i think jon and martin are the only people to have read the dress code and follow it. i don’t think i’ve seen them in something besides a sweater

tea master: hey!

bossman: 

there is no dress code: ALERT! ALERT!

there is no dress code: jon sent a meme, the world must be ending

bossman: god i hope not

**what the ghost hunt uk server**

**#general**

the admirals simp: should workplaces have dress codes? how vague is too vague on a dress code? answers are appreciated but not required.

**direct message to archive mom**

stonks: its karaoke night at the bar. i completely forgot until now

archive mom: omg do you think jon will get drunk enough and sing

stonks: i doubt it but i want to know if he can sing

archive mom: i feel like he can, i mean he does record himself all day reading statements, maybe he has a nice singing voice

stonks: oh i hope so, maybe i can get some blackmail material

archive mom: tim

stonks: im kidding im kidding

stonks:  _ unless _

archive mom: :(

**direct message to the admirals mom**

the admirals simp: what do i wear to go out with my coworkers?????

the admirals mom: hahaha

the admirals simp: georgie

the admirals mom: jon

the admirals simp: please just help me

the admirals mom: just wear what you normally do, maybe drop the sweaters, just go with a button up and jeans

the admirals simp: thank you so much ily <3

the admirals mom: you would be lost without me

**direct message to tea master**

archive mom: so are you planning to make a move tonight???

tea master: i dont know what you are talking about

archive mom: like i dont see you pining after jon everyday

tea master: i do not

archive mom: oh you dont?

tea master: im sure he hates me

archive mom: he does not hate you

tea master: i dont know what you are talking about

archive mom: shoot your shot pretty boy

tea master: tim is the pretty boy

archive mom: you can be a pretty boy as well

*********

Jon was the last of the group to arrive at the bar. Posted on the door of the bar was a sign that read “Karaoke every saturday at 7”. Jon looked at his watch as he pushed open the door, 7:15. Of course, Tim would plan their night out at a bar with karaoke. Ever since Tim heard him humming to himself while hiding from Prentiss, Tim was set on hearing Jon sing. Jon found the rest of the group in a booth towards the back of the bar. There was already a beer waiting for him and a basket of fries with a bottle of malt vinegar at the table. 

The night went by very fast. Before Jon knew it, they had moved onto shots, and he was choosing a song to sing for karaoke. Then he was on stage singing “Drunken Sailor” and when he came off the stage Martin pulled him into a hug and kissed him on the forehead. He did not know where it came from but it happened. He wasn’t making decisions by the end of the night, Jon was just going through the motions of life. 

When the night was over, Tim and Jon took the tube together, since they lived close to each other. Tim dropped Jon off at his apartment and then went home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I messed up posting a little so sorry if there was any mix up


	4. candle crimes

**jimmy magnet server**

**#general**

(there is no dress code changed name professor candle)

professor candle: jon has committed candle crimes. for someone so bent on being careful with fire in the archive, he owns a lot of candles

bossman: dont shame my candles

professor candle: oh really let me just name some of the candles i saw when dropping you off last night

professor candle: number 1- clean cotton

number 2- line-dried cotton

number 3- soft blanket

tea master: jon those are terrible candle scents

archive mom: do you have an obsession with laundry scents???

professor candle: at least have one good candle, for example, frozen rosé or alpine martini

tea master: personally i like fresh lime and cilantro

archive mom: tim do you like only alcohol themed candles

(professor candle changed bossman to candle crimes)

(professor candle changed tea master to candle master)

archive mom: do i have to name candle scents to get a candle themed name?

professor candle: yes

archive mom: ok

my favorite scent is midnight jasmine

professor candle: acceptable

(professor candle changed archive mom to candle mom)

candle mom: thank you

professor candle: you are welcome

**#pictures**

professor candle: anyone have any pictures from last night?

candle mom: i do hold on while i send them

[id: tim frowning because the basket of fries is empty]

[id: martin kissing jon’s forehead, very blurry] 

[vd: video of jon very drunkenly singing drunken sailor on stage]

[vd: video of tim singing take on me]

professor candle: thanks

candle crimes: i mean thanks but also no thanks

(candle crimes saves pictures and videos)

**direct message to the admirals mom**

the admiral simp: [vd: video of jon very drunkenly singing drunken sailor on stage]

remind me to never go drinking with my coworkers again

the admirals mom: if i can get more quality videos like that, then no. go drinking with your coworkers again. i want more videos. you never sing anymore

the admiral simp: i still sing

the admirals mom: not really. not in public

the admiral simp: :(

the admirals mom: you love me

the admiral simp: >:)

the admiral simp: do you have a problem with the candles in my apartment?

the admirals mom: no why?

the admiral simp: tim told everyone about my candles and now im being roasted on main

the admirals mom: your fault not mine

the admiral simp: rude :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is short. ive lost a lot of motivation and inspiration to write this. i touched the document for the first time in a month today. i dont know if there will be more chapters so i will leave you with this. thanks for reading.


	5. avatars of the candle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is this? a chapter?

**avatars against jimmy magnet (elias do not interact) server**

**#party-time**

eyeballs aren’t sexy: help im sad and my candles arent giving me serotonin

give me your skin: have you tried lotion?

fire wife: light more candles

eyeballs aren’t sexy: i dont have anymore candles to light :(

knock knock: where did your serotonin go?

eyeballs aren’t sexy: tim took it. he dissed my candles :(

fire wife: rude 

knock knock: ill bring you more candles 

eyeballs aren’t sexy: please do, i need more

knock knock: be there in a jiffy :)))

**space is cool server**

**#the-aurora**

dville: help im sad and my candles arent giving me serotonin

ashes: candles are friends, fire is friend

dville: not fucking helpful

ts: try lotion!

dville: again, not fucking helpful

**direct message to tea master**

the admiral simp: can we talk on monday at work? privately?

tea master: sure? 

**direct message to stonks**

tea master: jon just asked me to talk privately at work, im scared

stonks: did he say about what?????

tea master: no

tea master: do you think i did something last night?

stonk: shit did you?

tea master: i have no idea

stonk: fuck, you think he’s mad?

tea master: i hope not 

**avatars against jimmy magnet (elias do not interact) server**

eyeballs aren’t sexy: helen brought me a chai scented candle and now im thinking about him 

tea? no sky: sounds gay

knock knock: good for you! 

eyeballs aren’t sexy: he makes good tea, tea scented things are allowed to make me think about him

fire wife: still sounds pretty gay

eyeballs aren’t sexy: has left the chat

**direct message to the admirals mom**

the admiral simp: martin kissed my forehead last night and im 🥰🥰🥰

the admirals mom: gay

the admiral simp: but i asked him to talk on monday and he said sure?

the admiral simp: what does that mean??????????????? georgie!!!! idk???????????

the admirals mom: does he remember what happened? did you tell him what you want to talk about?

the admiral simp: ,,,no,,,

the admirals mom: JON!

the admiral simp: georgie 

the admirals mom: stop being cryptic. you cant just ask people to talk without context

**jimmy magnet server**

**#general**

candle crimes: my friend brought me more candles

professor candle: are they good scents

candle crimes: i would like to think so

professor candle: tell me now

candle crimes: sweet maple chai, sugar & spice, and kitchen spice

candle master: i  **_love_ ** all of those

professor candle: ok, those are good scents. you pass your test

candle crimes: i wasnt aware this was a test

professor candle: its always a test

candle crimes: i dont like that

professor candle: i would change your name back, but your friend brought you the candles and not you

candle crime: rude, give me back my name rights

professor candle: no rights for jon :)))

candle mom: tim, give jon some rights

professor candle: no >:)

candle mom: fine ill give him rights

professor candle: no, mom dont

candle mom: too late

(candle crimes changed name to bossman)

bossman: thank you sasha

candle mom: youre welcome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! i had some motivation to write and im in quarantine for 2 weeks and have nothing to do, so its writing time! i hope you enjoy more candle talk and also some pining! 
> 
> follow me places:  
> linktr.ee/friedtoffee

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Lyf's earl grey fic and many other tma chat fics  
> I hope you like it :)


End file.
